half past a monkey’s ass
Now that my daughter has started preschool, I’m planning ahead for show-and-tell. One of the goals of show-and-tell, of course, is to bring in the coolest thing, the thing that makes all the other kids tug their parents’ shirts and loudly whisper, “Oooh, I want thaaat,” in that long-voweled way kids so sweetly do.
Yeah, they’re brine shrimp; and yeah, they’re gross; but I can guarantee you that when your child (hell, when your significant other) trots into her classroom with a Sea Monkey strapped to her wrist, you’re the parent of the coolest kid in the school.
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